Nardwuar Chemist Interview

Jul 5, 2024 · Editor

Transcript Editor’s Note: We recently got our hands on an exclusive Nardwuar, the Human Serviette interview, but due to budgetary issues we don’t have enough money to host video or audio on our website. We decided instead to upload the transcript of that interview, enjoy!

~Transcript Start~
Steven Callhoun: Hi this is Steven Callhoun, and you’re watching Nardwuar’s video vault.

*music interlude*
Nardwuar!

*Guitar riff*
Nardwuar!

*Musical sting*

Nardwuar, The Human Serviette: Who are you?
C: I’m Steven Callhoun, professor of chemistry at UC-SPC
N: Steven Callhoun, welcome to the Conference of Applied Nanophotonic Optics and Technology!
C: Thanks for having me.
N: Right away, I have a gift for you.
C: What is it? It looks like-
N: It’s a PC-
C: I?
N: Yes it’s a PCI-6233!
C: Wow, thank you!
N: What can you tell us about the PCI-6233?
C: Yeah, it’s the PCI card we use for data acquisition from our APDs. We’ve been using it for our laser locking system for the past few years. We’ve recently thought about setting up another setup with laser locking, so this would be useful. That’s pretty cool.
N: 405 {gestures with microphone}
C: 405?
N: 488 {gestures with microphone}
C: Ok?
N: 561 {gestures with microphone}
C: Alright…
N: These are the wavelengths {gestures with microphone}
C: Yeah?
N: Of the dichroic used in the TIRF microscope setup from your 2012 ACS nano paper!
C: Oh… Oh! Yeah! That’s a deep cut, I think that was my second year as a post doc in Jeremy’s lab, we didn’t move to the near IR yet. How do you know about this?
N: You’re Steven Callhoun, we have to know this!
C: Ok, ok. Yeah that’s wild, I thought nobody would have remembered that.
N: Thank you, Melissa Stansfield.
C: Yeah shoutout to Melissa, she visited for a few months in 2022. Great scientist, really helpful in the cleanroom. There’s a lot of nanophotonic structures that wouldn’t have been made without her guidance, I hope we can collaborate again some time soon.
N: Fluorescence lifetime imaging {raises paper}
C: Where did you get this from?
N: This is the original 1992 publication from Analytical Biochemistry.
C: I recognize Lakowicz, Michael Johnson…
N: And the scientist who was part of a Parliamentary Investigation team in Poland!
C: This is pretty co- can I have this?
N: {high pitched} That one, maybe not – that’s from my personal collection.
C: Darn, alright but if you change your mind, you know…
N: Why should people care about Steven Callhoun? Why should they care?
C: You don’t have to, but my group works really hard on their work, I’m hoping we can publish some solid papers on plasmonically enhanced optical effects and others can use them and appreciate them. If a few groups read our work and get to use it I think it’s all worth it.
N: Thanks so much Steven, keep on Rockin’ in the Free World, and Doot Doodle Doot Do- {gestures with microphone}
C: Doot do?
N: Yeah! {Nardwuar freezes in place}
C: {stands and smiles for a few seconds} Is this for a picture? Are we done filming?
{stands there awkwardly with Nardwuar, eventually walks away}

~End of Transcript~